done with it, maybe not

You spend so many years with another, loving them, being there for them at the worst times, going out of your way to be there for them and you think after it's all over, you will still care for one another. I'm now learning that it always doesn't work out that way. Sure, I thought all this would blow over and we would still be there one another, to some extent but I guess that's a no? Even through all the times you were being an asshole, and many other things, i stayed beside you through it all. I wasn't forced to, but I chose to despite how ungrateful you were of my friendship. Now, I'm finally moving forward. I think I don't care anymore. I don't care to be the one to pick you up when you fall down, anymore. I used to say it all the time that I would, when you had no one, even if we weren't on the greatest terms, I'd be there. But now it all seems idiotic. I want to say I'm finally done. I hope I am. Let's hope I am. Although I know days from now I'll know that I'm not done. Here's to the best.

I'm not having the greatest time tonight. I'm home, wanting to be elsewhere. I want to go listen to some music somewhere. I'm glad I'm going back to Miami. There's always someone to hang out with whether it's to a movie or an art show, or to a bar, or just hang out at home and watch a film and eat dinner. Things here are more unpredictable than not, which I guess I don't really enjoy. I like the security of home. Sure I always end up hating Miami when I'm there for too long but atleast I now know what truly matters to me, which I think will help me in respecting it more. I prefer the weeklong or weekend vacations over the months and months long away vacations.